Loveeeee, Hateeeeee. Whtttt Issssss Ittttt? Irritating.

Teenagers, I've only ever seen ya'll do this one, so I'm blaming this on you. And if you are a teenager and you don't participate in this past the point of laughable typing skill, THANK YOU.

Exhibit A

"Nooooooooo, uuuuuuu cn'tttt doooo thssss 2 meeeeeeee."

Forget the "u" for "you" right now, I can't even go there. I realize while chatting online we all may stress the last letter on the end of ONE word in order to display surprise or disbelief, but why do you need to add multiple last letters to EVERY WORD IN THE SENTENCE?! And the best part is, you add extra letters you don't need to the end of words while omitting letters you do need to correctly spell words!

Try speaking a sentence like the one above you have typed. Even characters on the worst soap opera don't speak this dramatically. (Yes, Days Of Our Lives, I'm talking about you.  It's a shame Passions is no longer on the air or I wouldn't have even picked on you right there.) This is just annoying and it makes you sound like you are constantly on your period (males included).

But not only is this heinous typing habit used to express your teenage angst, it's also used at the other end of the spectrum.

Exhibit B

"Iiiiiiiiii loveeeeeee youuuuuuu," "Lveeeee youuuuuu," "Luvvvvvvuuuuuuuuu."

And numerous other variations of the expression are read in response to teen facebook pictures and statuses every day. Especially girls. Girls, let me tell you something. Most of you will not be friends forever. As much as you believe you will, cases of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants are far and few between. One of you will grow bigger boobs than the rest of your friends and will start attracting male attention. This attention will lead her into the "popular" group, leaving the rest of you in the dust. Another one of you will start to excel in a certain area, say volleyball or lacrosse. This sport and team will soon become her life, again leaving the rest of you....in the dust. Your personal dust particle will end up being so minuscule that you will undoubtedly regret those "loveeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuu's." The "cool kids" may even go as far as purging them for their facebook forever.

And of course, we can't forget about this last part.

Exhibit C

"Withhhh myyyy grlfriendddd. I loveeee my bybyyyy." "I love my boyfrndddd soooooooo mchhhhhh!!!!! Loveee uuuuu boooooo." "Withhhh myyyyy baybeeeee, gettinnnn rdyyyyy."

As much as most of you examples in Exhibit B will end up hating each other, the hate ratio quadruples for you couples in Exhibit C. You will not be together forever. You will end up regretting this cyber love (albeit extremely exaggerated and once again, sans necessary letters) you once expressed. Why leave yourself (and others) reminders of this?

In fact during and after the break up stages of friendship and "love", you all return to Exhibit A, teenage angst and black clouds in tact. You have created a viscous cycle. Let's just pray it doesn't carry over to your schoolwork.

Like friends, foes and exes, I'm hoping you'll outgrow this typing craze too.

Sharing Useless Information Then Sharing Even More Useless Information Is More Annoying Than You Think

One of my biggest pet peeves and the trigger that inspired this blog is grown beings still confusing the words THEN and THAN. I realize that the world is filled with people of varying degrees of intelligence, but we all went to elementary school, right? (Or grade school as you preps call it.)

This annoyance first became very apparent during my freshman year of college as it frequently popped up on away messages throughout the country. "Math THAN English THAN out with my most fav girlies for Friday night fun!" With the decline of iChat and AOL instant messenger, this ridiculousness has been kept alive with similar facebook statuses and tweets.

Not only do I NOT need a play by play of your day, (why do I care?) but you are using the word THAN when you should be using the word THEN. You may not even care that you are using the word than incorrectly. You may not even care that you appear (and in most cases are) stupid. But it kills me.

Side note - We can probably all be accused of over-sharing a bit on the Internet as we now have so many outlets to do so, some people however, take this much further than others. *CoughattentionwhoresCoughmommydaddyissuesCough* And fear not, current college frosh and soon-to-be college frosh, most of these statuses/tweets you see your peers posting are BS. Their college life isn't more glamorous than yours. They most likely feel the exact same way as you do. Many people need heightened perceptions of reality to make themselves feel better. Some even go as far as believing it.

So, if you need to share with everyone you know how super great your life is or tell us what you will be doing after you take your next shit, please use the word THEN, meaning "after that". THAN is used to compare or contrast. In this case, your talk is bigger THAN your reality and/or your smarts.

Killing My Soul. Whose soul?

I've done everything right my whole life.  I was almost a perfect kid.  I was well-behaved.  I never experimented with drugs.  Nor did I ever come home piss ass drunk in the middle of the night and puke all over the floor. I always did my homework, even if it was just to read, and I never skipped class.  I was taught that if you "did the right thing" and worked hard, the future would eventually reward you.

I vigorously studied journalism in college. I had stints at the newspaper, the online magazine and the TV station. I was even a fill in for a friend's radio show when he needed me. (Another disgruntled writer who helped me come up with the title for this blog, thanks D!) I had internships and freelance work at magazines, trade publications and script writing companies.

I graduated with honors (of course), but little did I know that my ship would slowly begin to sink. Fast forward two-and-a-half years later and a cross-country move, and the job prospects are still minimal at best. And I'm not even talking about sole writing jobs, I'm talking about any kind of related job where I'm able to FULLY support myself. Yes, the economy is in the shitter, but I find myself realizing that a lot of people have lucked out.  People who haven't even worked half as hard as I, people with an IQ of about 7.  People who still don't understand proper grammar. People who still don't know how to use words or punctuation correctly. People who invent their own "special" terms.  They have jobs.  They're getting jobs. Somehow, they are employed. (Maybe even scarier, some are parents.) And it's killing my soul. 

This blog will highlight these common writing and grammar faux pas that kill my soul. (And relax, I'm not talking about the occasional typo or slip up.) This is the Diary Of A Disgruntled Writer.